I am a divorced mother with three beautiful children.
When you get married, divorce is the LAST thing on your mind.
Even with the statistics saying that 50% of marriages end in divorce, you never think that it will be you. I was married for seven years, and with my ex-husband for a total of 15 years. From the very beginning our relationship had no foundation, but being young, not having a strong example of what a healthy relationship looks like, and most of all not having the foundation of God in my life, in hindsight, and with the wisdom I have now, the relationship was doomed from the beginning.
After trying so hard to do what I knew to do to try and make my marriage work, I found out that my ex-husband was on drugs. We tried to make the necessary changes for our marriage (i.e. him going to rehab), and that was successful for a little bit, but then the habits started happening again. I remember feeling like there was an urgency to make a decision, I was NOT in any way going to go through what I went through in the past with him, SOMETHING had to change. I remember feeling like I had failed, it was a feeling of dread, and a darkness that I thought I had no control over. I mean could this truly be the end? If I am not willing to go through the rehabilitation process again, what’s going to happen? I had done EVERYTHING that I possibly could when it came to our marriage. I remember asking God “is this really what my life is going to be like? Am I really going to be having to babysit an adult for the rest of my life? There has to be more to life than this?”
That is when I was on my last end, totally confused, and made the decision to seek God intentionally for the first time in my life. When I made the decision to do that, I will NEVER FORGET the verse that GOD brought me to:
“Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything and the sin that so hinders, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2a
I didn’t fully understand it then, but God was letting me know that He has a plan for my life, if I let Him take over. Also, those “great cloud of witnesses” are my children! Since my divorce 5 years ago, I have surrendered my life to Christ, forgiven my ex-husband, forgiven myself for past decisions in my life, and made some lifestyle choices to be in alignment with God’s purpose for my life. I specifically remember the Lord starting to reveal things to me about my life. He started to give me direction through His word. I started to see things in a different light. God started to show me the TRUTH about HIM and so began the pruning process. During this time HE gave me instruction on how to start caring for myself, valuing myself, and investing in myself. One of the ways that He did this is through one of my daughters. As she was staring at herself in the mirror one day, I decided to ask her,
“What do you see when you look in there”
She turned and she pointed to me.
I was IMMEDIATELY reminded of God’s promise that HE has come to give us life and give it more ABUNDANTLY. And I was not living the life that HE had set out for me. That is when I made it my life’s mission to plant the seeds of encouragement not only for my children, not even just for myself, but for young girls world wide.
That is how my non-profit Abundantly Authentic was birth an organization whose purpose is to encourage our girls to know their worth through Christ, (and is based off of scripture Ephesians 2:10 For are God’s HANDIWORK created in Christ Jesus to do the good works which HE prepared us in advance to do), and shortly after that GOD directed me to start a for profit company called HandiWork which is focused on our girls also but is more community based, and it’s purpose is to encourage our girls to practice HEALTHY CONFIDENCE so that she is not giving into negative behaviors such as self-harm and bullying. I have also 3 written books that are specifically geared to planting the seeds of encouragement into our young girls, while still giving them the practical tools to care for themselves.
I know that this is the position that GOD has given me in the body of Christ, and it’s something that I take seriously and also holds me accountable to myself, my children and most of all Jesus Christ.
I've often struggled within myself that “my story doesn’t matter” or “they don’t mean your type of story”, but I am giving in to this excuse or fear (however you would like to see it), and to share my testimony. Though I never thought my divorce, would be used for God to restore, me God used it all. God always reminds me that “it’s not about you,” so if just one person is set free from my story, and God gets the glory, then so be it.
I thank God every day for choosing me to be one of His. And for being God of purpose, promise, protection, and my ultimate provider. I thank Him that I have a past that I was able to learn from, a present to enjoy, and a future that He has promised me is full of abundance!
My hope and prayer is for you today is to not only KNOW that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and that it is ONLY through HIS mercy and grace that you are able to be the woman that HE has called you to be, but to BELIEVE what HE has said about your life, and take the step of faith to fully surrender to Him.
Keisha Montfleury is first a believer in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, then a mom, and next an entrepreneur. She is the founder of Abundantly Authentic which is a non profit organization whose purpose is to encourage our young girls to know their worth through Christ. Keisha has written 3 books specifically designed for our girls to practice the skills to a HEALTHY CONFIDENCE while giving them the practical tools. She is also the proud mom of 3 beautiful kids, and currently resides in Southern California.
To connect with Keisha you can reach her multiple ways:
Facebook and Instagram: @confidentkeisha