Today I Witnessed a Suicide

January 9, 2017

 

TODAY I WATCHED A SUICIDE LIVE ONLINE! 

 

Warning-This may be hard to read. But THIS could be the reality of some people in your lives! 

For some, you may be wondering why would she do that. That’s awful. In my defense, when I clicked the link “Girl commits suicide live” I expected that the video would not show what I saw. 

 

I was WRONG!

 

In fact, I watched this young girl prepare the noose, hang it from a tree and hang herself. But in the midst of all this, you can hear the cars whizzing by. You could see the perfect homes in the background. Yet, she was on her last breath. 

 

This young lady apologized for at least 10 minutes. She apologized for not being good enough. She apologized to her father repeatedly and her friends. She even apologized to God. She was heartbroken but said she was sorry she simply could not defeat her depression. It was too much to handle. After all the tears, she stepped off the bucket that was holding her up. The film continues and she hangs from the tree. And for twenty minutes, the video continued as she swings from the tree, lifeless. I skipped these twenty minutes; it was too emotional for me to handle.

 

Why am I sharing this? Why would I possibly risk ruining your day to share this awful moment in this girl’s life. A parent’s worst nightmare…

 

BECAUSE she could have been ME!

 

And some of you, if you are honest, can relate as well! 

 

 

Many have no idea..I was very suicidal as a teen. The lack of my biological father, repeated betrayal by male figures, living with my own very poor choices, and the constant bullying was too much for me to handle. I dreamed of ways I could end it and no one would ever know. This lasted for years. Yet, I was fortunate enough that I knew to find a hope. Every time I felt suicidal, I grabbed onto the idea, “One day I will be a mother. I have to see my future daughters.” This thought saved my life many times. I would cry in my closet for hours and just think about escaping this life.

 

I wish I could say I got over these things as a teenager. I thought I did. About three years ago, they resurfaced. I went into a very deep depression. I sang on Sunday morning at church, led in great ministries, but inside I was hurting. I wasn’t good enough, no one “really” liked me, and my children would be better with a new mom. I can recall being in the bathtub thinking… “What if I just allow myself to sink under?” Luckily, the Lord helped me through and delivered me from this. He reminded me of my purpose and literally sent a room full of church leaders to gather around me in prayer without me asking! I have been great ever since...

 

BUT what about the girl today who was not as fortunate. What was the most striking is how you could hear the cars driving by! Is it possible that someone saw her? Maybe they were too afraid to stop her or “didn’t want to get involved”.

 

How many of you have seen your friends on social media crying out for help?

 

You think, “There they go, just fishing for attention."

 

Well guess what...you are RIGHTt! They need your attention. Your reaching out to them may be their last cry for hope!

 

I BEG you friend! Don’t be the like the car that just passes by.

 

Speak up! Inspire Hope! LOVE! Meet them! Encourage them! 

 

 

I saw a girl commit suicide today online! 

 

It was horrible and life-changing! I am so fortunate that I learned how much God loves me and how much purpose He has for me…but everyone may not know!

 

I pray we all recognize depression and refuse to sit silent!

 

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255

 

#suicidesucks #payattention #depressionkills #speaklove #lovethembacktolife #dontdiesilently #youaregoodenough

 

 

      Psalm 34:18-The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
       
       

       

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