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  • Writer's pictureVictoria Riollano of Victory Speaks

Getting Rid of Petty Betty

We all know Petty Betty!

This is the person who always has something negative to say. She is the world's biggest critic and speaks about things she should not. She is the one that you may purposely block from your social media posts because she loves a good "debate". Petty Betty has to speak out on everything and set the record straight. It "gives her life" to let everyone know HER truth. No matter how ugly, brash, or unnecessary! Sometimes, Petty Betty says and does things JUST to rub you the wrong way. They get a kick out of irritating you! Ms. Petty is a bully in disguise, a certified mean girl! Sound familiar?

Perhaps as you are reading this you realize you ARE the Petty Betty in your circles! That's alright there is hope for you!

So how do we silence the petty ones in our life?

Your most powerful weapon will be your ability to ignore! The reality is people like this love to get a rise out of you. The more attention they get...the more they will keep the uproar going! It is kind of like the class clown. The more you feed them your laughs, "lol", "smh",and "lmbo", the more they will keep it going! I have a great tool for ignoring the petty ones on my social media platforms. It is called the"unfollow" button. In one click, I can turn off the pointless noise!

The reality is you will never quite silence them! As a Psychology Professor, my favorite therapy that I teach is called Reality Therapy. The reality is that YOU can NOT change anyone. All you can do is provide people with information. In other words, YOU will not being changing Petty Betty anytime soon! Step two is to provide her with information, if you choose to. If she insists on pushing her points, provide her with what you know on the topic. I suggest a private conversation to do so. You can learn a lot more without the scene of the public forum. Trust me, you do not want the battle of Petty Betty and her entourage. Side note...Have you noticed she always has an entourage? It gets ugly!

However, you have every right to speak your truth! BUT choose wisely, just because it can be said..doesn't mean it should be said!

True maturity can be marked by your ability to BE QUIET!

Remember your name and integrity is on the line! Be careful not to get out of character dealing with people like this! They love getting you irritated, so it will do you no good!

Step three to silencing Petty Betty is choosing to move away from the crowd. You can learn a lot more from a person and how they think in private! Instead of getting sucked into a public moment with her, take it to the side. Seek to learn why the topic at hand is really bothering her. She may be in need of a friend who can just listen but not know where to start. BUT you wouldn't know until you sought her out for a deeper understanding.

The last step, when necessary, is slowly detaching from her! Unfortunately, everyone can not be in your life right now! As women, we need people who can lift us up and encourage us to do better! Sometimes we are guilty by association. Some say, we are the average of our friends. That means if most of your friends are petty, you probably are too! In life, we can do better! There is no time for petty when you are set on living a life of success. Ask yourself if your friendship goes deeper than gossip and drama. If not, it may be time to move on. These kinds of friends will keep you from living out your victorious life and arriving at your full potential!

And one final note, if you are Petty Betty...there's no reason to stay that way! The negative, fault-finding attitude comes from a place of bitterness. I urge you to evaluate why there is so much pleasure in enjoying negativity or why you are so easily offended. The reasons may be deeper than you want to admit! In life, all you have is your character and what you will be remembered by! Make it a good memory and choose today to let go of petty!

She has to die so that you can live more freely!

For more on victorious living, check out the blog here.


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